


No Words Left Unsaid

by countrygirlsfun



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: (It's the Hales), Alternate Universe - Human, Based on a Tumblr Post, Canonical Character Death, Chef Derek, Derek Hale Deserves Nice Things, Doctor Stiles Stilinski, Doctor/Patient, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mute Derek, Mutual Pining, Past Character Death, Speech Therapist Stiles, Star Wars References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-11 19:11:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5638573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/countrygirlsfun/pseuds/countrygirlsfun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek makes the appointment himself. That in and of itself is a big deal for him. </p><p>It’s been ten years since he got his family killed. Six years since he let Laura, his sister, get killed, leaving only himself as the sole survivor of the Hale family. </p><p>And it’s been five years, eleven months since Derek has spoken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Words Left Unsaid

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Emela](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emela/gifts).



> This is based on an anon [ask](http://acountrygirlsfun.tumblr.com/post/137252828888/im-really-sorry-emma-but-its-angst-time/) that got sent to [pale-silver-comb](http://pale-silver-comb.tumblr.com/) that I decided to flesh out for a (belated) birthday present for her!
> 
> It's not 50K and it's not super angsty but I hope you like it!

Derek makes the appointment himself. That in and of itself is a big deal for him.

It’s been ten years since he got his family killed. Six years since he let Laura, his sister, get killed, leaving only himself as the sole survivor of the Hale family.

And it’s been five years, eleven months since Derek has spoken.

At first it wasn’t a conscious decision.

Growing up, Derek talked about everything and anything, especially with his family. Their longstanding arguments of Star Trek versus Star Wars. Loud, raucous laughter on movie nights, with Laura bent over double laughing, Cora giggling to herself with Derek’s younger brother, Tyler and Derek laughing until tears streamed down his face at his dad’s impressions of the actors.

He was popular in school; he was on the basketball team as one of the starting varsity players when he was only in eighth grade. He was good at school too, always answering questions in class. He always did his homework, passed with A’s and maybe a B here or there. He never used to have any problems getting up in front of his classmates to give a presentation or a speech.

He met Paige because of his extra-curricular activities. He was finishing basketball practice, goofing around with his friends in the hall when she’d come storming out, brown eyes flashing, curly hair bouncing as she walked. It didn’t take much after that initial interaction for them to become something more. And the thing was it was all perfect.

He loved everything about Paige. He loved her smile, and her humor, how she never stood for his crap or his ego. He loved kissing her in the forest after having dinner with his family. He loved how she got along with everyone from his older brother Alex to his youngest sibling, Genevieve. It was everything a teenager could have asked for in a first relationship, a first love.

But apparently it was too much good in Derek Hale’s life because the universe decided to balance it out some by taking her away.

One day they’re kissing and planning a date for the weekend and the next, Derek finds her lifeless body in the hallway at school after practice.

An aneurism they tell him. No one could have known. Sometimes people can have them and live for years only to die naturally and sometimes they rupture in a 14 year old girl’s brain killing her instantly.

Derek hadn’t experienced grief in his life to that point like he felt when he lost Paige. His family didn’t blame him for becoming withdrawn. But it soon became clear that for as easy as it was for Derek to pull away from the attentions of his family, it was easier to stay there, out of the limelight. His family had always been so fair and loving and inclusive that when he suddenly became the forgotten middle child he didn’t know what to do about it.

As he’s learned, when kids are ignored, they tend to act out, to break rules until they’re noticed again. And that’s what Derek had done. He latched on to the first person who showed interest in him. It just so happened that that person was this older girl. A girl who wanted to do things in secret so that’s what Derek did. A girl who wanted to know secrets so that’s what Derek told her.

Not six months later Derek stood with Laura as they were told they and Peter were the only survivors of a horrific plot against Derek’s parents that killed everyone in their house.

Derek was sixteen, Laura nineteen so legally they could watch after each other and live off their inheritance and the insurance money. After their Uncle Peter died of complications a month after the fire, they tried to make a new start in New York. It was a new city, new places to study, a chance to put their past behind them and move forward with their lives.

But Derek wasn’t ready to be around people. Even people who didn’t know who he was, what he’d done to his family. So he got himself signed up for online high school work and got his GED by his seventeenth birthday and was enrolled in freshman courses soon after.

When Beacon County finally tracked them down to let them know they needed to make a decision about the land and the remains of the house it had been three and a half years since the fire. Derek was almost through his culinary degree and Laura was finishing her own studying law. But they flew back to California together to deal with it and make decisions as a team. They met with the county officials and made arrangements for the burnt remains of the house to be pulled down and removed. They had plans for Laura to fly back a few times during the progress of everything to make sure it all got done as it was supposed to.

Which is why three days after Derek graduated with a degree in culinary arts Laura flew to California by herself as Derek had already landed himself a job and was set to start right after graduation.

Sending her off in the airport was the last time he saw her alive.

This trip was for her to survey the demolition of the house. Only apparently, as she’d been perusing the remains one last time, part of the house collapsed and crushed her.

For so long the only person he talked to was Laura and with her gone he didn’t feel the need to talk to anyone ever again. And a month after her funeral, after most things had been arranged and dealt with, Derek stopped talking all together.

Derek had been hired by a posh restaurant in New York and was able to make a name for himself there. He’d learned to sign rather quickly after Laura’s death and his coworkers were quick to realize they couldn’t wait for him to yell orders through the kitchen. It took some adjusting for the sous chefs but they eventually worked out a very efficient system. Within a few years, however, Derek was through with living in the big city.

After Laura’s death part of settling everything was following through with their plans for their old house and having a new one built. He visited once they finished building the new house, just long enough to make sure the house was locked and to arrange for a company to watch over it while he lived on the other side of the country. But he never planned on staying in New York long term.

So when the work becomes work and he finds he’s tired of the noise and bustle of the city, he decides he’s ready to go home. He’s expecting to need to clean and furnish the empty house in the woods. He’s also expecting he’ll need to seek out some type of work, be it cooking, baking, or something completely unrelated, he’s going to need something to keep busy. He’s expecting a bit of loneliness living secluded in the woods compared to the self-imposed seclusion he’s dealt with in New York.

What he doesn’t expect is a city wide welcome home.

They put a big write up about him in the Beacon Hills’ newspaper. They write about his success in New York as a chef, about how he overcame the tragedy of losing his family and still managed to do something with his life. They even talk about how he communicates with sign language and the author joked at the end that everyone better brush up on their ASL if they want to congratulate him on his achievements.

Derek thinks there’s some rule about publishing lies that the paper might have broken.

He’s none of the things they proclaimed him as. He isn’t some great example of a small town boy making it big. Isn’t the picture of strength in the face of unknowable adversity.

He still feels just as lost and lonely as he had standing outside the smoldering remains of his family’s house watching it get demolished to nothing after Laura’s death. All he’s managed to do is find a distraction from his grief and misery. That’s all cooking really was. And when it got to be too much to train in uncooperative sous chefs and wait staff, Derek just said he was done. He just went home; packed up the few important things he owned, sold the rest and started driving across the country.

He doesn’t feel like he deserves the hero’s welcome he received when he got to town. But he can’t say he doesn’t find relief in the townspeople’s treatment of him. Here again his expectations are completely wrong. He had thought he would deserve anger and scorn and ridicule from the people who had to know that he was to blame for his family’s death. He expected harsh looks and avoidance.

He did not expect the kindness. Nearly everyone he ran into smiled at him, like they were happy to see his scowling bearded face. He doesn’t know what he would have done if they’d been as he expected. As it is, the little old ladies that knew his grandma give him hugs in the grocery store. And he gets used to his doorbell ringing at least once a week with another friend of his mother’s stopping by with food and a kind smile.

Not everyone signs but that’s okay, most people can figure out when he mouths the words and makes the sign for ‘thank you.’

Nobody pushes him to talk is the thing. It’s almost as if there’s been a blanket acceptation to the fact that the bright Hale boy doesn’t talk anymore and it’s okay. He gets in a solid routine of errands and cleaning house and volunteering places. The ladies still stop by to visit him but they stop brining food and instead ask him to teach them things. When the first woman nearly pushed her way into his house claiming he was the only one who could teach her to make a soufflé he’d been shocked more than anything. But soon he realized it was their way of making sure he was taking care of himself and that he wasn’t always alone.

So it’s with no reservations that he answers the door one random Tuesday after hearing the doorbell ring. He’s got a message halfway written on the whiteboard as he opens the door because he was just on his way out but the marker falls from his frozen fingers when he sees who’s standing there.

It’s- it’s Cora.

She’s older, obviously, than the last time he saw her but- it’s his little sister. She’s standing right in front of him, alive and healthy and his knees start to feel a little weak. He doesn’t understand but she looks just as nervous as he suddenly feels.

“Derek?” she asks quietly, hopefully.

He nods and she rushes at him, wrapping her arms around him in a hug so fierce it has him collapsing to the floor as they embrace. Tears well up in his eyes but he doesn’t try and stop them from falling. The relief and joy he’s feeling is all too much to try and contain. Cora doesn’t cry, though. They stay like that, the front door open as they sit together in each other’s arms until their breathing evens out. Eventually Derek’s back starts to hurt and he taps her shoulder gently and when she looks up at him he nods towards where the living room is.

“Yeah, okay,” she sniffles and stands, offering a hand to help him up.

She doesn’t let go as she leads him into the other room and towards the big couch Derek has. It’s awkward but Derek figures the shock of seeing his sister alive is overriding it. They settle on the couch next to each other and something in Derek settles knowing no matter how this conversation goes, he’s not the only Hale left in the world.

*

Stiles is fairly content with his life at the moment. He’s through with school and has a job doing something he loves. After being teased for talking so much as a child, Stiles Stilinski fought back and went to school to become a speech therapist. Something that comes so easy for him is a challenge for a lot of people.

And he gets to work with all kinds of people. From kids with slower than normal development to adults who’ve over taxed their voices, Stiles helps everyone he can. Beacon Hills isn’t the biggest city in California but still there’s some competition in his line of work between the two hospitals and the half a dozen private operations like himself. But he’s been able to make a name for himself in the last couple years of his practice, now getting referrals from different clinics, doctors and businesses from across the county.

His success comes from the limited number of patients he accepts at a time in order to fully give each one a thorough interaction with him. For as much as speech therapy is a focus on the physical workings of a person’s voice, it can be just as much about the patient’s mental and emotional well-being.

So he’s got a job he loves, a nice apartment, his best friends from high school are all still in town and he sees them at least once a week despite all of their busy schedules. He has a dog that he raised from a puppy when he rescued her from the animal clinic. Gladys is a sweet not-so-little 50 pound Pitbull that’s honestly the kindest dog Stiles has ever met. They like to curl up on the couch together to nap after trips to the park.

But, the thing is, aside from going over to Scott’s house for supper with him and his wife Kira, or stopping by to see Lydia and whoever she’s dating currently for drinks every now and then, taking Gladys to the park is as adventurous as Stiles gets with his social life. He had enough of the drinking and bar scene in college. And now with how much time he devotes to his patients he just doesn’t have the spare time to really go out and meet new people.

As it is he has a new patient appointment today and given the preliminary information the patient sent in with his application for care Stiles is excited to have something different to help someone with. Apparently, the man stopped talking by choice almost six years ago and now his voice isn’t what it used to be. The man, who is a couple years older than Stiles, has a recognizable name however and Stiles is intrigued to see if it’s who he thinks it is.

The Hale tragedy was a highly discussed, much lamented event that the town suffered for longer than they expected to. Both Talia and Andrew Hale were such prominent members of their community it was a loss to many people when their family was destroyed by the plot of a rival family, the Argents. Derek and Laura were the sole survivors after Peter Hale succumbed to his injuries from the fire.

Stiles remembers when the siblings came back to deal with the house and land that had been left in their names. His dad, the sheriff, was involved with the whole process and Stiles remembers him coming home smelling like ash and rot more than once as all the details were worked out at the site of the old Hale house.

He also remembers when Laura came back alone and was killed when the house collapsed on her.

Sometimes it’s a struggle to have people open up about the things that have made them want to not communicate at all. And he can respect that. Obviously they don’t want to think about it all if they’ve stopped talking or have trouble talking in social situations. But going into treatment for this patient, Stiles already knows the backstory. He already knows what Derek isn’t going to want to talk about.

It’s with no small amount of confidence that he walks into the exam room where Derek is waiting.

“Hello,” he says as he signs the same thing. “I’m Dr. Stilinski but most people call me Dr. Stiles, it’s a little easier to say,” he introduces with a wink.

Derek had returned Stiles’ handshake eyes wide with uncertainty and no small amount of anxiety.

Stiles figures he could tone it down a little, but not too much. He likes being open and friendly with his patients over strictly professional; it’s easier to build a better relationship that way. But given Stiles’ first thoughts on seeing the man were far from professional, he might do well to put effort into keeping a good balance.

“I’ve read your referral but I’d like to hear from you what you want to gain from therapy here with me,” he asks, still signing and speaking at the same time, after sitting down across from Derek.

He notices Derek’s hands are a little shaky as he lifts them to sign back to Stiles so he smiles warmly, hoping to put the other man at ease.

“I’m Derek,” he signs confidently after a moment. “I stopped talking when my sister died because-“ he pauses for a beat but takes a short breath through his nose even as his cheeks turn pink in his embarrassment. “There was no one to talk to that was as important.”

Stiles nods hoping he’s coming across as understanding and not patronizing.

“Greif takes different forms for everyone,” he signs to Derek and watches the man’s shoulders fall a little as the tension leaves them. “What changed?” he asks, prompting Derek to continue.

A smile starts to creep across the other man’s face and Stiles can’t help but mirror it.

“My other sister, Cora, she found me. She’d run from the house when the fire started and since we all thought she’d been one of the many lost in the fire there was no search. The trauma gave her amnesia,” Derek explains, “So when she stumbled out of the forest on the other side, opposite Beacon Hills, with no memory and no one to recognize her she was put in the foster care system. She started trying to find out where she came from when she turned eighteen but only just was able to remember everything from before the fire this year. And when she did a search she found that write up the paper did when I came home.”

“She found you then?” Stiles asks, excited for the man across from him that’s lost so much.

Derek nods, his smile turning sad at the edges.

“I wasn’t what she expected.”

Stiles’ feels his face pull down into a frown immediately at that.

“She said that?”

“She said she expected more from me. Not- not someone who doesn’t even talk.”

Anger flares hot in Stiles’ chest and it does little to help his attempts at professionalism.

“That is not okay-“ he starts but Derek holds up a hand to stop him, sad smile still in place.

“She never did have a filter,” he explains. “She’s apologized for the comment already and we’ve talked a lot in the two months since she found me. She even found a job here in Beacon Hills so we could try and reconnect.”

He seems to steel himself as he takes a big breath and Stiles’ anger cools as fast as it had risen.

“This is my way of saying thank you for that sacrifice she made to be closer to me. I’m still doing this for me, I want to be able to talk like I used to, talk with my sister. And talking at all, especially about feelings and my past is a sacrifice of my own that she’ll undoubtedly understand,” he finishes with a shrug lowers his hands.

Stiles hasn’t had a patient do this to him in a long time. He wants to coo and pinch the man’s cheeks because that is just so cute Stiles can’t even handle it. He knows he’s smiling like a fool in the silent moment after Derek finishes his explanation because the blush starts to rise again under the man’s soft looking beard.

“Well, then,” Stiles says finally, needing to clear his throat of all the emotions built up over the course of Derek’s story, “Let’s get that voice back, shall we?”

He gets Derek situated on the exam table and does his own physical examination and runs his own tests to corroborate what Derek’s primary physician did and sent over to him. Derek shouldn’t require surgery to fix the damage the disuse did to his tissues and Stiles is optimistic he’ll be able to help this man move forward like he so obviously wants to.

*

Derek’s second appointment with Dr. Stiles isn’t what he expected. He was warned by his general physician to be prepared to share emotional things on top of the physical parts of therapy. But Stiles doesn’t sit him down and make him talk about his feelings outright. Instead, they’re in a room slightly different than the first exam/meeting room and Stiles hasn’t really asked him anything too poignant as they’ve done some stretches.

“We’re going to work on making sure you’re breathing right first, okay?” Stiles says and Derek nods.

Stiles’ smile turns down in a wry smile.

“Maybe first we should go over the rules.”

Derek looks at him questionably, wondering why the rules of therapy weren’t first to begin with.

“I, uh, was excited to get going,” Stiles admits sheepishly. “But the rules are, the first week I will accept non-verbal communication, be it looks or signing, but I encourage you to start getting used to talking so the rule is you have to try and say aloud what you’re signing. Next week you have to do both. We’ll see how long we keep that up based on how quickly your throat gets sore. But by the second month you won’t be allowed to sign for things anymore; if you want to communicate you’ll have to speak. Sound fair?”

“Fair enough,” Derek says aloud, voice whisper soft and weak. But the wide, honest grin he gets from Stiles for the effort is worth it.

They switch gears back to the therapy after that, Stiles working on teaching Derek how he should be breathing to support his voice. Derek had internally scoffed when Stiles told him they’d be learning to breathe correctly. Derek can breathe; I mean come on it can’t be-

It’s different.

He has to learn to breathe from his abdomen and Stiles is exceedingly patient as he tries to figure it out. Once he gets in a rhythm and doesn’t have to focus so intently on it Dr. Stiles adds another step.

“Now hum, and when you take a breath focus on breathing like I taught you okay? Just pick a song,” he adds at Derek’s look of confusion, “and hum it.”

Stiles shrugs at Derek’s hesitance and starts humming the Imperial March and Derek hides his laughter behind his hand. Of course his cute doctor would turn out to be a Star Wars fan. When Derek looks back up Stiles is smiling openly at him.

“Don’t laugh at me! Although I’m kind of happy to have made you laugh,” he admits, ears turning pink like he hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “What else makes you laugh?” he asks Derek as he helps him off the exam chair into a standing position.

“The Office,” Derek signs and speaks in answer.

“Ah yes, Michael Scott and his dry wit right?” Stiles shoots back happily.

“Laura always said Michael Scott was the bane of her existence, but I know she secretly loved Jim and Pam together,” Derek signs, not trusting his voice. But Dr. Stiles only smiles encouragingly and has Derek sit down, his breathing training forgotten for the moment.

“What did Laura like to laugh at?” he asks quietly and Derek huffs.

“Me, mostly,” he continues to sign but Dr. Stiles doesn’t stop him.

“She lived to tease me, as older sisters tend to.”

Stiles shakes his head a little his smile turning down at the edges in mock sadness.

“I’m an only child. Always wished for an older sibling, they would have come in handy at times. What did she tease you about?”

“Nothing too serious,” Derek’s quick to assure him, not wanting to paint a false picture of his sister. “Her favorite was blaming me for the fact that she’d seen all of the Star Wars movies; I was the reason our family watched Star Wars in addition to every version of Star Trek ever made.”

He decides to continue when Stiles doesn’t have another question ready, seemingly content to listen to Derek say whatever he wants.

“She’d tease me about school a little. I went to culinary school but I still would eat the same thing from certain restaurants every time we went out. Or how at one point I was practicing making soufflés but still couldn’t manage to make a loaf of banana bread.”

Stiles laughs a little at that, surprise painted across his features as his hands rise up to sign back to Derek.

“You, nationally acclaimed chef Derek Hale, can’t make banana bread? That’s like the easiest thing to make! I can make it and I can’t make a bag of popcorn without burning it.”

Derek feels his cheeks heat up as he blushes before he admits a secret he’s kept since he was fifteen.

“I can make banana bread. But it was also the only thing Laura could make without ruining.”

He shrugs and Stiles gives him a look Derek can’t really characterize. His brown eyes are intense as he stares at Derek and Derek can’t help but hold his gaze even if it means noticing the charming beauty marks on Stiles’ cheeks and the way his bottom lip is all pink from Stiles biting at it while Derek spoke. It’s only a moment before Dr. Stiles returns to the room and Derek still wonders what the man across from him was thinking about.

As it is, Stiles makes a comment about making Cora a loaf before they’re back to breathing deep and humming Star Wars themes. All in all, not what Derek expected from his first round of actual therapy.

And it’s not until he gets home and has poured himself a cup of tea that he realizes how easily he was able to talk about Laura. How much it didn’t hurt to pull those memories up to the surface. Sure, there’s still the ever present ache at her loss, but somehow, reminiscing out loud didn’t increase it. He suddenly knows why Dr. Stilinski is so highly recommended.

*

When Scott and Kira moved into their house they had four keys made; one for Scott, Kira, a spare and one for Stiles. Stiles lets himself in whether they’re there or not so he knows it won’t be a surprise when he just walks in today for dinner. But the problem is he just finished his fourth session with Derek and Stiles is in so much trouble. He whines as he shuffles despondently through their entry way and into the living room to collapse on their couch. He buries his face in the pillows and lays there until Scott pokes his head out of the kitchen.

“Buddy?” Scott asks when he sees Stiles laid out on his couch.

Stiles grunts and hears the rustle of Scott’s jeans as he walks around the couch.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

The couch dips as Scott shoves his way to sit on it and Stiles rolls onto his side to give him room. He sticks his bottom lip out in an over exaggerated pout that he feels is necessary to the current situation.

“I have feelings for a patient.”

Inexplicably, Scott’s face lights up.

“You mean Derek, right?”

“Uh, maybe?” Stiles admits as he suddenly realizes he broke doctor/patient confidentiality on this practically from day one.

Scott gives him a look like ‘are you for real?’ and Stiles huffs.

“Yes, it’s Derek.”

Scott crows, Kira comes in and sits in the chair next to the couch and Stiles just buries his face in the pillows again.

“This is so embarrassing,” he mumbles.

“More embarrassing than our parents thinking we were in a polyamorous relationship and the wedding was for the three of us because we were all so codependent?” Kira asks, her voice amused.

Stiles sits up and drags a hand down his face when Scott prods at him.

“No, but it is close. I mean, I love you guys but, ugh, no, not romantically. That was horrifying.”

Scott and Stiles shudder in unison and Kira rolls her eyes at them.

“How do you know these aren’t just, ‘I like my patient, they’re a cool person’ feelings?”

Stiles doesn’t even bother to huff or roll his eyes he just lets his head fall back onto the couch and closes his eyes.

“Because I think Derek Hale is the sweetest, cutest person alive. For all he’s been through and went on to accomplish and now how he’s trying to get his voice back for a sister who was a jerk when she found him. Because he’s beautiful and kind and despite his obvious social anxiety works really hard with me for his therapy. Because I just want to bring him home, wrap him up in a blanket and feed him pierogi and potato pancakes and paczki.”

Scott’s eyes are wide and Kira is just smiling at him fondly.

“You haven’t wanted to make someone paczki since Heather,” Kira says softly.

Stiles nods because he _knows_ okay. He knows how badly this could end up for him if he’s feeling like this already. If he and Derek had just met in a coffee shop like normal people it would be fine. But having Derek as a patient only complicates matters. And by complicates matters, Stiles means, completely ruins everything.

Scott, bless his heart, pats his leg and drops it completely.

“Have you talked to Lydia lately?”

And so the conversation flows away from Stiles’ awkward situation and on to gossip about their friends as they move from the living room to the kitchen and start eating dinner.

“No, I haven’t,” Stiles admits. “I need to, it’s been a while since we chatted.”

Kira has a sly grin on her face when she comes over to elbow Stiles away from her stove to pull the food off and onto the table.

“She seems to finally be over Allison leaving.”

Stiles lifts an eyebrow at that because Lydia hasn’t been the same since her long-time girlfriend moved to France and left her behind.

“What makes you so sure of that?” he questions.

“The girl she was sucking face with at the bar the other night.” Scott says deadpan as he moves the lasagna to the table.

Stiles is flabbergasted as he sits down at the table now that everything is ready to eat. Lydia has _never_ been one for PDA, even with Allison and their serious long-term relationship. If she’s doing things like making out with someone in a bar, maybe she really is letting herself move on.

Stiles is happy for his friend, and determined to make time to go see her now that he has some ammunition for the conversation. Normally when they’ve met up over the last few months it’s been to commiserate over the single life.

He doesn’t think she’ll be as excited to mope with him now. Now he’s going to have to explain this insanely inappropriate crush and listen to her gloat about her new relationship. And even, horror of horrors, she’ll give him the ‘get out and meet people’ speech again.

Stiles isn’t ready to face that.

*

“What’s this?” Cora asks with a knowing smile as Derek slides a plastic wrapped loaf across the table to her.

Normally they meet somewhere in town when they meet up to eat together. It helps so Cora can just see him over her lunch break at work and Derek always just plans on volunteering the same day so neither of them makes an extra trip in from the Preserve. But today Derek had wanted to have her to the house again. It’s been awhile since she’s been to the house and he doesn’t manage to get himself to talk aloud as much as he’d like to when they meet in a restaurant so he’s glad she agreed and he could stay home.

“Banana bread,” he says clearly, but still a little quietly. “It has chocolate chips in it; you used to like it that way-“

“I still do,” she says with a smile as she pats at Derek’s hand before he could anxiously talk himself into regretting the whole thing.

She huffs a little laugh before picking her knife and fork back up and they return to the meal Derek had made for them.

“Am I remembering wrong but didn’t you stop making banana bread when Laura finally mastered it?”

Derek can’t help the blush that rises to his cheeks at her knowing look.

“Yeah, I- you’re remembering right.”

“Huh,” she replies, staring at him like she’s trying to figure him out.

It’s been months since she found him and times like this make Derek feel like it’s going to be months still before they have each other completely figured out. He’s excited for the process, to be honest; he can’t wait to get to a point where he’s friends with his sibling again. But it also hurts his heart when he thinks about how it wasn’t like this with Laura. They had always been friends, being closer in age than Derek is with Cora. Still, he isn’t complaining over the chance to get to know his sister who he thought was dead. Only, he wishes he knew for certain that they will reach that point.

“Yours was still better,” she says quietly after looking back down at her plate and Derek tucks back into his own meal with a small pleased smile.

After a moment of chewing passes Cora clears her throat and changes the subject.

“So, I kind of met someone,” she admits making Derek smile.

Cora’s boyfriend hadn’t taken her move to Beacon Hills well. It had given Derek no small amount of guilt that he was only bringing stress to his sister’s life by making her move and messing up her relationship. But when he’d told her this, that she could move back if she wanted to in order to salvage things with the guy, she’d scoffed and told him she was glad to finally have a concrete reason to break up with him. Derek had been wary that she was trying to appease him and his guilt but she’d honestly seemed lighter and happier after the breakup. Given the positive change Derek had worked to stop feeling guilty over at least one thing in his life. The rest still weighs on him from time to time. But still, one less thing to feel responsible for was enough.

“How did you meet?”

She sighs happily and Derek sees this incredibly fond look pass across her face.

“Work. Like a total cliché,” she says as she rolls her eyes at herself. “I asked her out for drinks and we ended up dancing and then…”

She trails off and Derek raises his eyebrows in amusement when she blushes and looks down again, fiddling with her fork on her plate.

“Nothing like _that_ _._ We just kissed. A lot. But it’s been great, even at work. It’s not awkward at all and we’re, uh, going on a proper date this weekend, so I- um, might miss Sunday brunch.”

Oh that’s what she’s worried about, Derek thinks as he watches in downright amusement as his sister squirms and blushes under his smiling gaze.

“Shut up,” she snaps and he smiles again and raises his hands in surrender.

“I’m glad you’re happy Cora,” he admits seriously and her face softens at the admission.

“I’d be happier if I could hug you without getting beard burn,” she jibes, moving the conversation along again. “Seriously it’s starting to have some _length_ there, at least trim it back so you don’t look like a crazed woodsman.”

“Is it getting kind of scruffy looking?” he asks curiously, self-consciously scratching at his chin.

“Like a nerf-herder,” she says deadpan and Derek barks out a laugh.

It kind of hurts his throat a little and it shocked even him but it’s easy to continue to laugh lightly when Cora starts to giggle. She regards him again after a moment like she’s gauging if she should say what she wants to. Derek does his best not to close off, to be open to what his sister wants to say or ask. He must succeed because she takes in a deep breath and finally asks her question.

“How’s therapy going?”

Well, that’s an easy one.

“It’s good,” he says honestly. “I really like my doctor; he’s very good at what he does. I’m still having trouble being comfortable using my voice with other people, like people not you or the ladies or Dr. Stiles. But he said I shouldn’t worry too much about it, something about the next step of his plan is going to address it. Basically we’ve gotten to a place where I’m not embarrassed about my voice anymore,” he admits, “I just need to not get so anxious around people.”

He shrugs a little embarrassed, but only a very little. He doesn’t have to be embarrassed about himself and the progress he’s made. He’s almost a little proud of himself.

“I’m glad it’s going well,” she replies softly. “I know you’re doing it as some sort of way to say thank you for me moving here. But I’m glad it’s not torture for you.”

“Sessions with Dr. Stiles are not torture. It’s not always fun to talk about my past but, he makes it easier somehow. And he doesn’t always ask about things like that either. A lot of the time we talk about other stuff and then I don’t even realize he’s brought it back to a question about you or Laura or our parents until after the session is over. He makes it easy to want to go back.”

He finishes a little awkwardly but he’s not ashamed that he’s going to therapy to get better and really he’s proud of himself in the moment that he kept eye contact with Cora through all of that.

“ _He_ makes it easier?” she says with a smirk and Derek tilts his head in confusion.

“Hmm, ‘it’ makes it easier, didn’t I say it, like that I don’t get pushed to share more than I want to, makes it easier…”

He trails off as she shakes her head and he thinks back to what he really said. Oh, crap now she’s-

“Do you have a crush on your doctor Derek?”

-going to know.

Well.

Damn it.

*

Derek is sitting in a cushy booth seat across a diner table from Dr. Stiles. It’s his last day of the standard scheduled therapy routine. And unless Stiles announces he thinks Derek needs more help, which he won’t, their twice weekly meetings will have ended.

Over the last month they have met only once a week at the office for therapy. The other day of the week when they used to just have another session at the office, they’ve been meeting other places instead. Derek was actually the one to suggest these still professional, doctor/patient get-togethers that are 100% _not_ dates.

Stiles had suggested these apps is the thing. There are apps for Derek’s phone or iPad to simulate talking to a real person to work on social anxiety…things. Things like ordering a sandwich at the deli, or telling the barista what he wants for his coffee. But the apps could only get to a certain level of simulating reality. And generally, Derek thinks they work.

But Derek’s problem isn’t that he can’t talk to any person; he talks to Cora, her new girlfriend Lydia, Dr. Stiles and even the ladies who still stop to check on him. Derek’s problem is that he’s uncomfortable using his voice in public, still uncomfortable talking to strangers.

It’s not rational anymore, or at least, he can’t rationalize it anymore. But avoiding human contact for years on end has given him a sense of anxiety now that he hasn’t been able to shake.

He’d voiced his concerns to Dr. Stiles, and he really did say all of that out loud, he didn’t fall back on signing as a crutch even though it would have been less awkward. Stiles had been hesitant to agree to these meetings, mainly because it would appear that they are dates.

But as much as Derek would like them to be, his and Stiles’ meetings are not dates.

They’ve gone for coffee and lunch. They’ve gone to the library and Derek asked the librarian for help finding a book to read. They went to the bookstore and Derek was able to not only order his own cup of coffee but also purchase a book and handle the back and forth with the cashier. He’s ordered his own muffin at the bakery and his own sandwich at Subway.

Having Stiles at his back, and yes he knows it’s just a matter of transference, instead of using signing as a crutch he’s using Stiles, but having Stiles there, more than willing to help him or calm him down if necessary, helped him get used to it again.

It made it easier to go back to the bakery the next day and purchase not only another muffin but to ask for a recommendation for another baked treat.

Made it easier to know he could do it, and he could do it alone even if he did prefer Stiles to be there with him.

But today is the last day and Stiles looks kind of melancholy. Honestly, Derek is sharing the feeling. He’s honestly enjoyed his meetings with Stiles. And no matter what happens moving forward, he’s also enjoyed having a crush on him. It’s not something he thought he would allow himself to do after the Argents. Part of him is aware that it’s probably something akin to ‘hero worship.’ But in the same breath Derek would defend that he likes Stiles as a person and not some image he’s built up in his mind.

Because for as much as the sessions are for Derek to share things about himself and work through issues preventing him from speaking, he’s also gotten the chance to learn things about Stiles himself. From the very first meeting he’s learned things about Stiles the person and not just Dr. Stiles Stilinski. Derek knows that Stiles is an only child to the sheriff of Beacon Hills. He knows Stiles lost his mother at a young age. He knows Stiles’ life-long friend and hetero-life mate Scott is a vet who is married to Kira, a partner at her mom’s law firm. He knows Stiles is lonely, not that he explicitly said that, but Derek just got the sense from how he talks about Scott that Stiles is resigned to the fact that things will never be as they were when they were growing up.

He knows Stiles might like him back.

Agreeing to the not-dates was a big clue in. But the way he looks at Derek when Derek will open up about his family or himself, the way Stiles is quick to defend him even in conversation, hell, the way Stiles seems to light up when he sees Derek outside the office is enough that Derek thinks there might be something there.

He’s gotten lost just staring at Stiles as they finished their burgers and milkshakes. He has a recurring daydream of running his fingers through Stiles’ soft looking hair and today was no exception. But he’s brought back to the present by Stiles slurping up the last of his banana milkshake through his straw.

“So what now?” Stiles asks, smile still a little sad at the edges. “What’s the first thing you’re going to do with your restored voice and confidence levels?”

Derek smiles and shrugs a little nervous because he may have thought of what he’d say to that question he just knew Stiles would ask him but that doesn’t mean it’s going to come out as smoothly as he’d like.

“Well, there’s a couple things I’m ready to do,” he admits and Stiles nods encouragingly. “First I’m going to ask Cora if she’ll take a vacation day or two so we can go to Disneyland.”

Stiles smiles big and bright and completely genuine.

“That sounds awesome. What’s the second thing?”

Derek waits for Stiles to pick up his water and take a sip before he answers.

“I’d like to ask you out to dinner,” he says perfectly clearly and Stiles chokes on his drink.

“As I understand it, I’m no longer your patient,” Derek continues, smile starting to grow as Stiles wipes his mouth with a napkin. “And as a newly restored member of the general public it wouldn’t be breaking any kind of rule to go out on a date with you, should you accept.”

“Yes!” Stiles blurts out loudly drawing the attention of the other people in the diner for a moment before he waves them off even as he blushes.

“Yes, I want to go out to dinner with you,” Stiles says a little more calmly but Derek knows better.

Knows from Stiles smile, and the way he’s barely containing himself not to reach across to hold Derek’s hand that Derek was right. Stiles likes him back.

 

Moving back to Beacon Hills was good for Derek.

Choosing to put himself in therapy, how big a deal it was for him to do that for himself, and going through with that decision has bettered his life.

As he schedules his date with Stiles for the following week he can’t help but hope about what this could lead to, where this could go.

And that right there, having hope for the future, a future with someone and knowing he deserves it, is the best thing Derek could have asked for himself.

 

 

 *


End file.
